mike the mountain

Master Romero’s latest opus Land of the Dead was shot in my fair city (nothing like watching armies of zombies overrun your office to put a smile on your face). As part of the promo campaign, they had full-on movie zombies wandering the streets of downtown.

Sometimes I really do love this city!

Finally starting to turn my new place into my OWN.

Got my high speed net access humming. Wireless router singing. Laptop dancing. Little blue G3 tower acting as a file server. VOIP phone connected, sounds great. PS2 of course. Region-free DVD player ready for all my freaky imports. PVR, as much as I hate to reiterate market-speak, has totally changed the way I watch TV, and I’ll never go back.

uh, still don’t have any furniture, or dishes, or a bed, or food… but seriously, the home network/theater is coming together GREAT!!

THEY’re watching me. I can feel THEM.

I can’t write for very long, THEY’ve probably infected Susie already. I can’t go to an “anonymous” web cafe, that’s for suckers. Everyone knows that THEY provide all the connections, THEY can monitor everything in those places, and you never get the chance to cover your tracks.

THEY’ve already been to my house. At least 2 or 3 times. Ostensibly to “fix the phone lines”, but any fool can see through that deception. THEY even had the audacity to tell me THEY were going to come over again, and ask me to “let them in”. I’m sure just to ensure some legal loophole for when I finally expose this conspiricy to the public.

…

I ordered high-speed DSL from Bell almost 2 weeks ago. First they sent me the wrong modem. Then when I couldn’t get a signal, they bounced me around customer “service” for an hour or so, promising they’d “keep trying”. After a week of still no service, they booked an appointment for a technician to come to my house and fix whatever problem there was. Of course because they have no need to care about other people’s schedules, I had to take half a day off work to sit at home and wait. The tech doesn’t even show up. I call, again, wait on hold, again, get transferred around, again, and they finally tell me I can book ANOTHER time to sit and wait for a tech to show up. Oh, and “here’s a number you can call to complain, but nobody’s there, so just leave a message”.

I’m a brand new account, calling them up out of the cold and asking if I can give them my business, and this is how they treat me? What is it going to be like once they actually have my money?? And the telecoms in this country wonder why they have such horrible reputations. I called Bell in the first place because I was so sick of the service I received from Rogers! There is literally no escape!

Still alive? Hell yeah!

Still breathing? Hot n’ heavy baby!

Flying, fighting, feeding, and fucking… listen to the words of a boy on fire!

my Slumber is Done my Life has Begun my Battle’s already Won so let’s Start the War

If all you know of me is my ramblings here, or even if you’ve met me in the last couple years, let me make one thing CRYSTAL clear: YOU DON’T KNOW ME. Better: YOU AIN’T SEEN NUTHIN’ YET!

I came straight out of school into the business. Hot shit, ruled the world.

Crash.

Change of plans.

These last couple years have been my little bohemian fantasy experiment. I ran from the Corporate Castles to the Hills of Hedonism. I wanted to see if I could live a satisfying life without the stresses of responsibility and professional development.

Short answer: no.

I had lots of fun, lots of golf and snowboarding and traveling and little side projects and pretending like I actually enjoyed bartending (clarification: I LOVE mixing drinks. I HATE the other 90%, ie: taking orders, polishing glasses, mopping floors, dealing with egomaniacal restaurant owners…). But I was dead. Asleep. Passive. I’ve watched more television in the last six months than the previous six years. I slept, I sat on the couch, I gained weight, I allowed anyone in authority to treat me like shit and I said to myself “it’s not like I’m doing anything worth respect right now”. I survived only by the charity of others.

ENOUGH!!!

I AM BACK.

Know me now, and you will know who I am meant to be. I still laugh and love, but I also conquer and kill. I’m always having fun, but now I deserve to. I earn my respect and my rewards, especially from myself. The Warrior has returned.

‘I’m not saying anything bad about the service industry or those that choose blah blah blah whine bitch moan’ fuck off. I’m living my own life, you live yours. Show me the respect I deserve, you will receive the same. Step to me, and you’re in for the fight of your life. I know I’m an arrogant mofo, I need to be. That’s how I live. If you are not convinced of your own superiority, you will hesitate. And you will lose. “He who hesitates, masturbates.”

Don’t worry, I won’t always sound like such a prick. I just needed to get this off my chest. I actually feel much better now than I have in a very long time…

But seriously.

Don’t screw with me.