Emo Poseur
You know, it’s really difficult to be an depressed, angst-ridden, struggling artist when my friends keep doing really amazingly nice things to me!!
OK, crappy stuff first, get ready for a big unload. This avalanche of shit I’ve been fighting with lately has really started to pick up speed, not to mention a fair bit more debris along the way. There’s the ongoing job search, my top prospect recently telling me that the next stage of interviews won’t take place until May, and all other leads rapidly drying up. The only calls I’ve been getting lately have been for reception or telemarketing, which professionally speaking I am not interested in. I REALLY do not want to have to go back to bartending, but I can’t keep racking up debt…
…especially if I have to start paying for a hotel or rent, which could happen any day now since my roommate has decided to leave his current employer (who happens to provide our accommodations). I won’t commit to a long term rental contract until I have a solid job, but I can’t leave town until I’ve finished with the interviews (not that I really have anywhere to go). At least it’s warming up now, maybe I’ll just find a nice park or campsite instead.
Of course all these financial distractions have rendered me all but useless in my other projects (the documentaries). I have other ideas I’d really like to pursue, as well as those of a few friends who would like my involvement, but there’s nothing I can offer until I have my own affairs in order! As for that other little business concept, the only reason I initially stayed in Toronto, the reason my girlfriend left me, it’s been officially written off in my book. As I suspected, the one man that the whole business plan hinged on was completely full of shit. All talk. I know it was a long shot from the start, and as frustrating as it is for things to end so prematurely, as I said at the beginning, at least I know I tried.
Even when I do take a bit of time out to try and get some work done, my poor Susie is having serious problems. Crashes, lock-ups, the hard drive is almost at capacity (even with almost all non-essential data backed up externally), the 256megs of RAM can barely choke it’s way through most of my day-to-day, the battery is going all wonky… my poor girl is showing her milage, and without the cash to upgrade or replace, I’m worried it’s only a matter of time before she’s lost…
…like my beautiful little cell phone that I dropped yesterday and is now a $300 camera-paperweight. Rogers, being as helpful as they usually are, first denied that the phone was even mine, since they had someone else’s name associated with my number! When they did track down my name, it was the wrong address!! Even though I’ve been using this phone and this number and having my bills sent to (and received at) the current address for nearly a year, they were over 2 years out of date in their support database (why isn’t it updated automatically with the billing??). Not that it mattered, since they wouldn’t help me anyways… no warranty, so minimum $75 + labour just to look at the phone. If I wanted to replace it (or “upgrade”), I’d have to pay an upgrade fee (even though my contract had long since been filled), plus full retail on the phone, unless I signed up for another 2 or 3 year contract (a mistake I will NEVER make again with these slimeballs). I saw my chance to finally escape their miserable clutches, so since every member of Canada’s evil cellular oligopoly has burned me at least once, I decided to give the new player a try: Virgin. They’ve just entered into our market, and are getting fairly decent initial reviews. Plus, I did find it analogously appropriate, seeing as how I’m actually an octogenarian monk in RL.
Then Roomie Bill went all logical on me and pointed out that I’ve got over 50 resumes floating around with my old phone number, and it wouldn’t really be too good to add one more obstacle to the process. So I grabbed a little second hand cheapie unlocked GSM phone and slapped my old SIM into it. Stuck with Rogers for now, one more thing for “as soon as I get a job”.
So I’m still single, still broke (and getting broker by the minute), still unemployed, soon to be homeless, still paying car payments, computer (Susie) isn’t feeling well, cell phone’s busted, even ‘Chi’ (my iPod) is having hiccups once in a while. I’m still fighting with The Strand to get the money they owe me from February. My time here is running out.
So why am I smiling?
A dear and wonderful friend from out West e-mailed me today. She’s getting married this summer, and she wants me to give her away at the alter. I have never felt so honoured and so complimented in my life. If someone as amazing as Christel can find that much room in her heart for me, how can I possibly be unhappy.
Dang it. And I was all sent for a night of walking around in the rain listening to Husker Du.
