mike the mountain

Enough of this self-pitying bullshit.

Life may kick you in the balls once in a while, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t kiss them better too . I have a voice in the world, for whatever it’s worth; I take the time to sit down at a computer and write what’s in my head/heart, and more importantly, you take the time to read it. If I have a legacy, it’s not going to be one of just fading away. I do want you to read this. Yeah, sure it’s for my ego, even though it weirds me out in a big way when somebody tells me they’ve actually read anything I’ve written. When I’m interested or passionate about something, I want to share it! With my friends, with my family, with people I’ve never met but had someone tell them to check out this site. Love me, hate me, agree with me or don’t, but I will have my say, and if you don’t like it…

That being said, I am going to make a sincere effort to turn this site into what I want it to be: part journal, part autobiography, part guide, part random whatever… shaken, with two olives. I am starting a very new life, in a direction I never anticipated with any real seriousness until now. I am running a restaurant. One with amazing potential, little baggage, and investors with deep pockets and big ideas. I’m talking exculsive back-alley, New York-style underground clubs, I’m talking patios and big screens and rowdy sports fans, I’m talking buying whole streets, I’m talking festivals and tournaments and events and concerts. I’m talking about being on TV and in movies, I’m talking shaking hands with celebrities, I’m talking sitting in movie theaters and saying “That’s MY bar!”. My. Bar.

My personal life is in the shits right now, so of course that’s going to colour everything I say, but dammit, life’s too good to drag you down too. Virtual reality is about escapism, even at the scale of reading something on the internet. You want bad news? Go watch tv. You want to hear stories about mixing “Michelangelo Martinis” for my staff at 3am after a killer night? Or letting a class of students propose concepts for a complete re-design of our restaurant? Or just a link that I stumbled across that you would probably never see otherwise? Welcome.

I will end this particular rant and open this new chapter in the DVD of my life with a cliche, but none the less accurate proverb: “Long ago an Eastern monarch called his wise men together and asked them to invent a motto, a few magic words that would help him in time of trial or distress. It must be brief enough to be engraved on a ring to be ever present. It must be appropriate to every situation, as useful in prosperity as in adversity. It must be a motto wise and true and endlessly enduring, words by which a man could be guided all his life, in every circumstance, no matter what happened. The wise men finally came to the monarch with their magic words. They were words for every change or chance of fortune … words to fit every situation, good or bad … words to ease the heart and mind in every circumstance. The words they gave for the ring were: This, too, shall pass away.”

Or maybe I’m just too lazy to write out a ton of e-mails explaining what’s been happening lately.

Yes I’m miserably depressed… who isn’t (if you’re not, trust me, keep your eyes closed and your fingers crossed, and try to hold on)? No, I’m not going to whine about it for pages and pages of melancholy prose and pitiful ramblings. Wallow in your own filth and you’ll never get clean. As I’ve said before, you can find sympathy in the dictionary between sycophant and syphilis, the last thing I want is people feeling sorry for me. Besides, if you’ve known me long enough, you’ve probably realized that I’m blessed with such ridiculous luck (most days) that no matter how hard I get kicked and no matter how far I fall, I always manage to land on my feet.

Case in point: my new job. Clarification to follow.

Reason for my current less-than-cheerful outlook on life: “Above all else, this is a story about love” (Hey, I never said I wouldn’t still be cheesey and cliche!). For the last two years I’ve shared a tumultous, adventurous, passionate relationship with a wonderful woman. She frustrated me, challenged me, loved me… and I her. As with all good things, this has come to an end, naturally due to forces mostly out of our choosing or control. It sickens me to write this, because somehow going through this motion makes it seem so final. Like I’m admitting or accepting it, which I don’t think I’m ready to do yet. Now please, I beg you, I’m not looking for advice or condolences or anything of the sort. I write this soley to inform, to share with my friends what I am going through right now. I ask only for respect and understanding.

Now, to further complicate matters, when this all came down, we were in Montreal, staying with her parents until we found jobs and a sublet for the summer. Obviously this situation was no longer acceptable. With no other option, I fled to Toronto, where I had a few friends I could depend on. A couple nights crashing on a couch until I found a friend with a spare bed and a generous heart (not to mention a parking stall!). With too much pride to limp back across the country alone and shack back up with the parents, I decided to stay in Toronto for the foreseeable future, and look for work.

Here’s where the dumb luck comes in. My dad always said I was born with horseshoes up my ass. Figured I’d bartend again, good short term work, fun, decent money. I started scoping out places around my new accomodations, fortunately I was right near a VERY slick part of town (Yorkville), all big money and celebrities and $14 cocktails. So I put on my slickest threads, stop for a quick haircut (oddly enough I ran into my old stylist from when I lived here before), and headed up the street armed with a stack of freshly printed resumes. I only needed one.

I had enjoyed breakfast that morning at a neat little pub called W. C. Fields, just off the main “Yorkville” drag. They had a great menu, nice people, and free Wi-Fi, so I figured this for a good omen and went there first. This was around 2:30. I sat down with the General Manager of the place, he looked at my resume, we chatted…

“I don’t really need a bartender right now… Do you have any managerial experience?”

“Head Bartender for the past year at a major ski resort in Banff.”

“Any business background?”

“Business degree in university, three years as a financial products wholesaler in Toronto (top dog, hot shit, etc.).”

“Wanna be our new manager?”

“OK.”

So now instead of my planned job of a buck or two above minimum wage plus tips, I now have a salaried position of seniority at an established bar recently purchased by deep-pocketed investors looking to expand. I have a great job, a place to stay, good friends nearby, in a city I love. Life would be great, if only…

if only…

As in offline.

I need a short break. Anything I write here now is going to be coloured by some very heavy stuff I’m going through right now. As I’ve said before, I don’t want this site to become a narcissistic exercise in self-analysis (ie: whining about my personal problems). Maybe a better way to say it would be “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything”. So until I have something nice to say…

A wise man once said “that’s why pencils have erasers”. A more up to date version might involve a delete button.

If you caught my little depressed rant I put up last night I apologize if I worried you at all. I want this website to be about having fun and ignoring the real world. You don’t need me to tell you that life sucks.

I love this stuff.

I would love to fly the “Corporate America” flag over my screening of the latest Michael Moore flick for a few hundred of my closest friends while handing out free copies of Adbusters and wearing blackSpot sneakers.

HOWEVER…

Do I, as a citizen of one country, have the right, obligation, or even the privelage, of actively and openly criticizing the practices and policies of another? I don’t mean the obvious stuff, like defending basic human rights (ok, ok, I know what you’re thinking… but you also know what I’m saying, so just let me finish). I mean, should I openly and publicly mock and insult the leaders of our neighbouring country? The ones upon whom we depend greatly for support, both financially and militarily? And what about that flag? That is a symbol of their nation, and a great source of pride for many Americans… do I, as a CANADIAN, have the right to use it as an object of ridicule/social commentary? Anyone remember when the Toronto Blue Jays were the number one baseball team (eventually going on to win their national sport… ouch, sounds familiar doesn’t it?) and during one game in the States, they flew our flag upside down (an international symbol for distress)? Boy was I (and a few million others) PISSED OFF at that! I even remember getting seriously choked at a Pennywise concert when they flew a modified Canadian flag (they often use their own version of the US flag as a symbol/prop in their shows). These AMERICAN musicians think they can f#$% with MY FLAG just so they can seem cool and rebellious?? So, is it any different if I choose to display the “Corporate America” flag, no matter what my motivations are?

KEY POINT: I’m not saying that it’s improper for me to have my own opinions, or to share them with others, or even take actions upon them. Just think about why I’m doing whatever it is I choose to… and what message am I really getting across?

Finally got my new power adapter in the mail today (go eBay!), so I’ll soon be able to return to a slightly more regular updates. At the moment I’m in Montreal, hoping I can get a job without being able to speak French… most people are telling me it’s not very likely, but it wouldn’t be the first time I have overcome my own staggering ignorance by sheer force of will, cheesy personality, and copious alcoholic beverages.

A question from Steve prompted a quick search in Blogger’s help files, which resulted in a small but perhaps important addition to the site: an Atom feed. Appearantly it was already all set up for me, I just had to add the link… so there it is, beside the post (under “Links” genius!). Most likely, if you know what it is, you don’t need me to tell you how to use it. One more way to stay linked!

Side note: I like martinis.

OK, to be specific, I really like vodka Martinis, Perfect, on the rocks, with two olives. I just got a book on the history of martinis, and I thought this would be a good time to share that with you. Oh, and my favourite vodka: Pearl.

…doesn’t mean that I still don’t get to indluge my epicurious thirst. Sometimes the simple things are the best.

Tequila. Ice. Lime.

Good Tequila. REAL Tequila. MEXICAN Tequila. In this case Blanco (white). Over ice. With a squeeze of lime. Life’s too short to waste taste and time on the cheap stuff.

Leonard Cohen rocks. Talk about transcendent music, this guy takes you to another place. It’s amazing how revitalized you can feel after a hot bath and a cold martini… ok, would you settle for a good dump and a glass of OJ? Yeah, I ain’t always the debonair denzien of the digital realm that you envision… Reality Bites, sometimes stick with the blue pill.

Quick RL snapshot, meatspace coordinates: Montreal, Quebec, Canada… specifically girlfriend’s parent’s house. Wonderful people kind enough to offer refuge while we WAIT and WAIT and WAIT to hear back regarding our applications to Law School for the fall. In the meantime we’re debating whether to get jobs and our own place, or just wait it out here, occasionally working for her parent’s kitchen: PatsyPie (PLUG kick-arse tasty gluten-free goodies, biscotti, cookies, brownies, etc.. I don’t have to sweat the celiac thing, but I seriously can’t taste the difference with this stuff. Some of the best I’ve ever had, gluten or no! /PLUG).

More stories to tell (good and bad), but this is enough for now. I don’t want this to just become an exercise in solipsism, if I’m going to take the time to write anything I want to be able to come back to it 10 years from now and actually have an idea of what was going on, in my life and in the lives of my friends and family, the weird and wonderful, off-mainstream, political, social, musical, cinematic, scientific, educational, and the just plain dumb. Hey, there’s a place for you to put your own comments about anything I have to say… maybe one day this site will mean something to someone, and you’ll be part of it! Write anything, share something, heck this is all pretty new to me too.

Mike’s back, hail to the king baby. I’ve run into “technical difficulties” with my trusty little iBook (broke power adapter), so until eBay comes through with a replacement I’ll be writing from whatever computer I can beg, borrow, or steal ‘net access from. Makes it a tad more difficult to put together coherent thoughts, but that’s never been a major concern of mine anyway.

I was having a lot of fun writing about drink specials, but until/unless I get another bartending job… well I don’t really feel like sitting at home trying to make up drinks that no one will get to try (other than my girlfriend and I). As for the cool links part, well, as you can see I still get a kick out of that!

That was kind of tiring… I need a break.