mike the mountain

ok, I had a really good idea for something to discuss… it was really good, I swear… very provocative… but I can’t remember a dang thing… jeez, I already got the memory loss and general laxadasical attitude, maybe I should start doing the drugs already??

ah bugger it. Here’s a great general interest site for guys, some fantastic writers (I’m a particular fan of Mr. Mafioso). It a bit too commercialized in my opinion, but there’s still a lot of great ideas and advice for guys in there. Think of it like an online Maxim, only free!

Happy Birthday Mr. Spock! It’s Leonard Nimoy’s birthday today (maybe he’s singing somewhere right now…). I found a drink called a Starmania that sounded pretty cool, I made a few modifications to come up with the “Star Trek Special”: 3/4oz Gin (I used Gilbey’s), 1/4oz Peach Schnappes, 1/4oz Passoa (Passion fruit), 1/4oz Blue Curacao. Shake over ice, strain into a cool glass (I used a hurricane glass) filled with ice, then top with ginger ale. It ended up a cool blue colour, I put in a red and a blue straw (for some reason it the colours looked kinda retro cool). My first attempt had a 1/4oz of Campari as well, but most of us thought it was too bitter. Drink hard, and prosper! Good night…

Who doesn’t love zombie movies? Seriously… why wouldn’t you? So much fun… and zombies!! Who wouldn’t love the opportunity to kick some zombie arse? Because no matter how cute they try to look, everybody hates zombies…

Since the remake of the classic Dawn of the Dead hit the theatres, I thought it was appropriate that the one that started it all (at least from the Romero-esque perspective of modern horror) has now entered the public domain via the expiry of it’s copyright. I could get into a whole new rant about the legal bullcrap that some companies are trying to pull with regards to copyrights, but I’m too mellow right now. Go watch Night of the Living Dead, see low-budget horror done right, and enjoy the fact that the creators made their money, got their accolades, and now get to inspire countless new creations by allowing their work to be shared with everyone.

I forgot my little bar book at home, so I had to hop online this morning to find who’s birthday it is. Respect and love to Ms. Chaka Khan! I found a drink called a Soul Kiss, seemed appropriate. After first taste I needed to make some minor changes, and it ended up being a very intersting drink. Definitely not for everyone, but maybe you’ll like it: 1oz Whiskey (I used JD), 1oz Sweet Vermouth (recipe called for dry, I liked this better), 1/2oz Dubonnet, 3/4oz Orange Juice, Grenadine to taste. Shake and pour over ice. Different, but hey, that’s the whole point of this little adventure, isn’t it? Salut!

So what do you think of Michael Moore? (I’m going to assume you at least know him from “Bowling for Columbine“). Always good for a laugh, or at least something to think about. Or get pissed off about.

A common criticism is his manipulative “documentary” style approach. There are plenty of sites online that love to disect every move he makes. People charge him with playing fast-and-loose with his facts, tricky and biased editing, ambush interviews, if not out right lying. Basically everything he’s been accusing the mainstream media of doing for years. And that’s where I have the most fun with this guy…

When challenged once about certain factual inaccuracies in Bowling for Columbine he responded along the lines of “I’m making entertainment, I don’t have to care about facts.” It ticked off a lot of people that he won Best Documentary for a piece that seemed to focus far more on entertainment and sensationalism than pure fact. Not to mention his little podium rant. For better or ill, Mr. Moore gets a lot of attention, and by association, his topics. He doesn’t deny using manipulative tactics, in fact he openly embraces them. And this is where I personally think he trumps most of the contention against him. His argument is that government and big business have been using the tools of the media to deceive the public for years and get their messages across (consume, fear, vote, etc.). So why can’t he use the same tools and tactics to get his messages across? In a culture bread on sensation and mass media and MTV-style 2-second attention spans maybe you need to make some noise to get noticed? Again, whether you like his style or not, it does people talking.

Yesterday was Fred “Mr.” Rogers‘ birthday. Did you ever have a “Roy Rogers” when you were a kid? Kind of a boy’s Shirley Temple: 2 parts cola, 1 part lime juice, grenadine. Well we are still in a bar, aren’t we? So since we’re all “grown-ups” here (in theory), how about a “MR. Roy Rogers”, just throw a shot of Coconut rum in there (we use Don Lorenzo). Think of it as a sweet Cuba Libre.

BTW, did anyone else ever notice in Return Of The Jedi, during the battle on the forest moon when Chewbacca swung on the vine with two Ewoks on top of the AT-ST walker, that he does a Tarzan yell?

Snow is happy. Happy Happy Happy. I’m happy because snow.

Nonsensical ravings aside, the weather here is a skier/boarder’s dream… TONS of snow falling up in the mountains, little to none on the highway or in town. We had another 20cm drop today, something like 70 or 80 in the last week. I’m just writing this to make my friends jealous (and anybody else who stumbled across my little corner of the ‘net). If you like, see for yourself what my office looks like. Or even more literally, check out the webcam.

Happy Birthday Bruce Willis. Try a RYE HARD (I’m really quite proud of that pun): 2oz Rye (I used Gibson’s), 2tsp honey. Shaken, into a rocks glass, garnish with a lemon. I had a bit of trouble getting the honey to mix in, it got too hard as soon as it touched the ice. What I ended up doing was mixing the rye and honey with a bit of hot water so it would all blend together, then adding ice and shaking. Not bad if you’re a rye fan, the sweetness of the honey counters the bitterness of the rye and makes for a fairly smooth little aperitif. Yippy-ki-ay, mofo…

There is no excuse for the amount of stress and bull$#!t that people subject themselves to. I just don’t buy it. We’re all guilty of it, me just as much as any other, but I do everything I can to not whine and bitch and moan and complain about every little thing… like it seems EVERYONE ELSE DOES!!! blah, I really shouldn’t go into details here, too many people know the address. I choose to love my life right now, I choose to love my job, where I am, and for the most part the people I’m with. I simply choose to have a good attitude. WAY too many people I deal with choose instead to be unhappy. To complain. To wish that someone ELSE would do SOMETHING for them to make everything happy fuzzy shiny smiley. Piss off, suck it up, change your OWN damn life if you hate it so much. If you’re looking for sympathy, you can find it in the dictionary (and in my personal list of things to respect) somewhere between sycophant and syphilis.

Sorry for the negativity… I do recognize the irony in complaining about complaining. I work in a mountain paradise, serving drinks to happy people on vacation. There is NO reason to stress, yet today it seemed like EVERYONE around me was losing their minds!! Boo-hoo, the kitchen was slow, my food took too long. Sniff-sniff, my customers were mean to me. Wah-wah, I’m too busy to clean up after myself, so I’ll just leave all my crap around for someone else to take care of, because LIFE’S JUST TOO HARD FOR POOR LITTLE ME. No excuses. And no respect for people with them.

All right, that’s enough for now… I just needed to get it off my chest. Like I said, there is no excuse for stress, and that includes the people who stress themselves. You know what the best cure for stress is? No, sorry to disappoint you, but booze doesn’t do it for me. I enjoy a fine beverage, but not excess (this is for another, LONG, rant). Music. Music. Music is the universal language. The sound of emotion, soul, passion, and everything else worth living for. Leaving work today I needed some catharsis. I had a desire for violence, so I needed some violent music. The soundtrack for Matrix: Reloaded has a couple amazing tracks by Don Davis and Marilyn Manson (yes I know he’s just Trent Reznor’s puppet and the latest “scary” marketing campagin, but WTF, sometimes good music happens in spite of people’s best efforts). Got everything out of my system before I hit the highway. Find some music that speaks to your heart, whatever it’s saying at any moment. Build your life’s soundtrack. Want to start exploring music beyond the top 40 pop crap you find on the radio? God bless the internet my friends, you can now listen to nearly ANY radio station from anywhere in the world. But not just commercial radio… anyone with an internet connection can start broadcasting any kind of music, some of it gets REALLY interesting, guaranteed you’ll find music you’ve never even thought of. SHOUTcast is a great place to start. Get some decent speakers for your computer and you may never listen to normal radio again!

Energy equals Mass time the Speed of Light squared. That’s right all you budding physicists, today was Albert Einstein’s birthday. Also my boss’. Well, technically, my boss’ boss. I think. Whatever, give a Big Brain a try tonight. Trace a line of Grenadine around the middle of a chilled snifter glass, and fill with ice. Shake 1oz of Bailey’s and 1oz of Baja Rosa and pour. Sweet, creamy, strawberry… and it kinda looks like a brain!

heh, it seems like I’ve been lucky with my movies lately… tonight I’m watching a neat little cult flick from the early 90s called Shout. Cliche, cheesy, Travolta… it’s about kids in a boarding school in the 50s just discovering rock and roll, and for the first time discovering what music is meant to do to you. I find it interesting to think about what it must have been like to have to fight for your music, to find revolution in sound… to be there for the true birth of a movement and hear things that no one has ever heard before. I keep wondering what we’ll hear next, but I can’t honestly say I’ve heard anything that I can claim to be our generation’s. Punk, it’s rock n reggae roots started back in the 70s… Metal is just more and harder rock, take Marilyn back to Ozzy back to Alice back to frickin’ ELVIS as the Devil Incarnate. Heck, Mozart was the badass extreme in his day, music just seems built to frighten those not ready to expand their minds. You like rap? Check out the 60s beat poetry. Electronica? Disco ain’t dead baby. We are the first generation to fully enjoy and appreciate our parent’s music, retro revolution and all that. Maybe we really have hit a plateau artistically in North American society. I sure as heck hope we break out of it soon, by my reckoning it’s been a good 30 years at least since there’s been a true musical revolution… we gotta be due soon, while I’m still young enough to enjoy it!!

Have you seen “School of Rock“? The Jack Black comedy about a group of school kids that form a rock band (hilarity ensues). Great flick, and not just because Mr. Black is frickin’ hilarious. When they were casting for this movie they could have gone with the easy choice and just grabbed a bunch of generic cutesy spoiled Hollywood brats, instead they toured the country, looking for actual legitimate talented prodigies… REAL musicians, kids with real ability. They make a real point in the movie about showing them playing the instruments, so you know they’re not just faking it along with a professional studio band track. And you know what? IT WORKS. So their line delivery might not be spot on, but their passion for music shines through with more emotion and honesty than a dozen “professional” actors.

Passion makes all the difference in the world. That’s why little indy bands can stir your heart and million dollar pre-fabricated committee driven pretty boy/girl bands do nothing, all sound the same, and fade into obscurity as quickly as vomit down a toilet after a night of binging on generic, flavourless booze that has somehow forced anything of taste and quality off the shelves. That’s why “professional” sports (especially, if not exclusively in the US) have become little more than petty, honourless money-grubbing whiners with no love for the sport beyond a means to stroke their ego and feed their drug habits, not to mention legal fees… compare the same sports at the school/college level and see kids with true heart, playing with passion, wanting to win, have fun, and shake hands after the game. Passion, honour, heart, soul… sports, music, movies, work, life, whatever… If you’re not doing it for love, then why?

Want a real easy example of the difference between something done for the love of it, and something done just for money? Go watch “Blues Brothers” (real blues and soul musicians, low budget, a lot of people just having fun), then sit through “Blues Brothers 2000” (“cool” musicians, whether they fit the scene or not, “cute” kids to appeal to a broader market audience, generally people doing it for the money). Tell me which one moves you.

By the way, since I’ve been talking about movies a lot lately, I may as well introduce the Internet Movie Database, the web’s best encyclopedia of cinema.

On a totally unrelated note, today was L. Ron Hubbard’s birthday. Talk about your “creative” minds, eh? There’s plenty of sites online that go into the more interesting aspects of this gentleman’s legacy, so I won’t bother touching on them here. I figured that an appropriate drink to celebrate the day with was a “Flying Saucer Martini”: 1oz Vodka (I used Skyy), 1/2oz Creme de Menthe, 1/2oz White Creme de Cacao. Shake over ice and strain into a martini glass, garnish with a cherry. A modification on a Grasshopper cocktail, it was quite nice, even if it did look like a Christmas ornament.

Have a wonderful evening, I’m going to sit here and enjoy the last 15 minutes of a true cinematic classic… “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses. Hit it.”

I’m a bit of a movie buff. Especially freaky independent flicks that hardly anyone’s ever heard of. Some friends of mine and I used to host movie nights… it started out as a way to introduce a buddy to some of the classics of modern B horror. Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Child’s Play, all the classics of our generation. After getting our slasher fix, we started moving on to other genres… other movies that you may have heard of, or not. Preferably not. It became a game: who can find the coolest/cheesiest/bloddiest/whatever…est pic of that night’s theme. Cheesy 80′s teen flicks, insane gore fests, blaxploitation kung fu masterpieces… you name it, we watched it. Now, to qualify this, we were (are) a group of (primarily male) geeks, so we’re talking less Divine Secrets and more Canadian 70s pseudo satirical soft core porn sci-fi action comedy.

The last few years have been very good for the film geek, as studios actually seem willing to produce, market, and release some half decent genre flicks. Mixed in with the usual pathetic, mass consumerism, made-by-committee, pop culture drivel has been some slick Asian cinema, strong enough special effects to bring comic book heroes to the screen in impressive fashion (and actually not suck most of the time), and of course movies like The Matrix, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings bringing science fiction and fantasy into the mainstream like never before. That being said, movie studios are still first and foremost businesses, looking to make profit first and art second. The difficulty with this scenario for me personally is that the movies I most want to see end up being those least likely to receive any marketing or even wide enough release to reach theaters nearby. Now, I can deal with having to pick up a DVD of some amazing pic that slipped through the cracks… it’s helps reinforce my movie-geek elitism when I get to be the one to introduce it to my friends. HOWEVER, what I REALLY REALLY LOATHE is when a movie gets completed, shown to rave reviews at festivals all over, is totally ready for release, heck even marketed and advertised as coming soon, then…….. NOTHING!! They sit on some studio hack’s shelf for months, even years, until everyone’s forgot about it and it either gets chucked or plopped direct to video.

SHAOLIN SOCCER is the most successful movie, in terms of dollars, ticket sales, any way you like to measure it, to ever come out of Hong Kong. It won all sorts of awards at all these film festivals around the world TWO YEARS AGO. They keep announcing theatrical release dates, and then… nothing. It’s currently sitting at “Coming Soon”.

Not geeky enough for you? Have you heard about BUBBA HO-TEP? I can’t even get into how amazing this movie looks… it’s every film geeks wet dream. Think you’ll be seeing it soon? Maybe on DVD in about a month. They had this going at the film festivals last year, where of course it won all sorts of awards. I even had a chance to see a special midnight screening in Toronto, but they sold out on me. After doing an (extremely) limited theatrical run, with ZERO marketing, the studio is writing it off to rental land. I mean, why would they spend money on interesting, original material when Malcolm needs to further his career?

Blah, now I’m all worked up again. Bad for sleep. Anyway, to understand and appreciate what the art of cinema does have to offer takes some effort on your part. Find a local independent rental store (Blockbuster and Rogers are both owned by companies that own major studios, and therefore are focused on the business of promoting their own product, at the expense or outright censure of others). Ain’t It Cool News is still my favourite place online to read about the off-mainstream, and Apple’s Quicktime Movie Trailers site keeps a great selection of trailers, including many that you won’t see during Survivor. And of course, always support your local independent movie theater.

Need a drink? Trivia time first, today in 1978 Bobby Hull scored his 1000th career goal in hockey. Get that goal light flashing red with a “Hat Trick Martini”: 1oz Vodka (I used Skyy), 1oz Cherry Brandy, Grenadine to taste. Garnish with a cherry and a lemon wedge. It tastes exactly like cherry cough medicine. You can decide if that’s good or bad. Sweet dreams!

Some freaky late night CBC low budget short film thingy called Zed… one of those things that makes your brain hurt to watch, but you feel as if you’re probably seeing something cool. You just can’t really grasp what it is. Open Source Television, eh? Worth a shot… actual reality instead of REALITY(tm) TV. Anything’s better than another one of those “find love by sleeping with 30 a$$hole strangers on tv while whining about how nobody respects you” shows.

So yeah, appearantly I’m some kind of supervisor now, which somehow works out to more work, more responsibility, longer hours, and, naturally, less pay (no tips for the sup’). Ah, the price of ego. Oh well, as if I’m working at a ski hill for the money! The downside is when I’m not bartending I don’t get to do drink specials. Even more sadly, it seems like I’m the only one that does (especially when I have 2 days off and the DATE hasn’t even changed on our specials board!!). Maybe I should start putting them together in advance… meh, effort, we’ll see how that works out.

So, until I have another drink special to put up, I’ll try to keep up with some links of interest. As much fun as I’m having here, one of the grand poo-bahs of blogging is none other than child-actor-turned-hated-sci-fi-icon-turned-web-geek-deity Wil Wheaton. Much more than just some gimmicky attempt to rekindle a seemingly lost career, this site contains some of the funniest, most interesting, and brutally honest thoughts and experiences of a man who’s lived a unique and dramatic life. Facinating, addicting, and touching, you will find yourself rooting not only for an actor’s career, but for a friend’s life.

Today is Tammy Faye Baker‘s birthday. meh. I’m not really much for the whole “God needs your money” scene personally, but hey, if ya need an excuse to drink, she’ll do just fine. I was looking for something to do with mascara, or cheesy evangelical religious stuff… no luck. I did find a cocktail called a “Baby”, so I added a bit and called it a “Crybaby”: 1 1/2oz Triple Sec, 1/2oz Parfait Amour, 1oz cream, shaken over ice. Didn’t get a chance to try it. If you do, lemme know what you think!

Have you ever played Halo? Cool game, much fun, especially blowing up your friends, which is always fun. Quick geek trivia, this game was originally designed for the Mac, but then Microsoft bought Bungie (the makers) and decided to make Halo it’s flagship game for it’s new console platform (ie: XBox). Boo for Macs. Nevertheless, the level of detail is very impressive, and has inspired some remarkably skilled film makers to create a series of short films using actual recorded motion within the game. The writing and voice talents would be worth the price of admission alone (even if it wasn’t free) if this was any other animated series, but watching it as it’s done within the world of a video game… I can’t imagine the work that goes into these things, they really have to be seen to be believed. Go check them out for yourself, they just released espisode 25: Red vs Blue (referring to two competing teams one can choose to play when battling another player). Enjoy!

Oh yeah, I’m watching the original Highlander right now… no matter how many really REALLY crappy movies this guy makes, Lord Rayden still rules all as Connor MacLeod. That, and Queen made one of the best title songs I’ve ever heard. Sgt. Zim is a total badass too, as always. I love this flick. Watch and enjoy, then think about what your sword would be… here’s the one my buddies picked for me. Should I be concerned? Or should they?

Did you ever see the movie where Ally Mcbeal is in love with American Psycho and Catwoman hooks up with a donkey? Shakespeare rules…

Speaking of Shakespeare, today was Michelangelo’s birthday! (pretty smooth transition, eh?) Ever try a “Michelangelo Martini”? I hope not, because I think I invented it, although who knows how many other’s thought of the same name… anyway, here’s MINE: 1oz Frangelico, 1oz Vanilla Vodka (again, we use Stoli). Shaken with ice and strained into a martini glass. DANG tasty. I’m getting good at this!

Hey, remember my last little thing about exercising your brain? Expanding your consciousness isn’t always about big words and fancy degrees… sometimes the best thing you can do for your brain is to shut it off for a few minutes. It’s kind of a zen thing, just pick one thought, one image, or even one word, and concentrate, contemplate, and reflect. Just one word… like badger…

Just to finish off on the Shakespeare kick… the play upon which the movie I watched tonight has probably the best closing lines of any work of literature or theatre ever. Chew on this my children:

“If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended. That you have but slumbered here, while these visions did appear, and this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream. Gentles, do not reprehend. If you pardon, we will mend. Else the Puck a liar call. And so good night unto you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, and Robin shall restore amends.”

Basically, if you think this show (movie, play, story, blog, etc.) sucked… just pretend you fell asleep and had a boring, crappy dream. Good advice. A good way to look at pretty much every day. Wake up, and if you didn’t like what happened yesterday, just pretend it was a bad dream, and start today fresh. Besides, in the Proyasian/Wachowskian sense, how do you really know? I mean, as far as you know for sure, maybe people are sneaking in to your bedroom at night and replacing you with an exact physical copy with the same memories? Pleasant dreams…