mike the mountain

… and it’s going to be AWESOME.

Thought seed: Warren Ellis >> Just When You Thought Nature Had Run Out Of Ways To Fuck With You: The Supersonic Tsunami

“…BP drill site is directly over a massive underground reservoir of methane that could result in a huge explosion that would create “a supersonic tsunami” that “would literally sweep away everything from Miami to the panhandle in a matter of minutes. Loss of human life would be virtually instantaneous and measured in the millions.””.

No, these people are serious:

“If the huge methane bubble breaches the seabed, it will erupt with an explosive fury similar to that experienced during the eruption of Mt. Saint Helens in the Pacific Northwest. A gas gusher will surge upwards through miles of ancient sedimentary rock—layer after layer—past the oil reservoir. It will explode upwards propelled by 50 tons psi, burst through the cracks and fissures of the compromised sea floor, and rupture miles of ocean bottom with one titanic explosion.

The burgeoning methane gas cloud will surface, killing everything it touches, and set off a supersonic tsunami with the wave traveling somewhere between 400 to 600 miles per hour.”

Feed: Huffington Post: DK Matai: Gulf Oil Gusher: Danger of Tsunamis From Methane?

“The crude oil from the “Macondo” well, which is damaging the Gulf of Mexico, contains around 40 percent methane, compared with about 5 percent found in typical oil deposits.”

“If the toxic gas bubble explodes, it might simultaneously set off a tsunami travelling at a high speed of hundreds of miles per hour. Florida might be most exposed to the fury of a tsunami wave. The entire Gulf coastline would be vulnerable, if the tsunami is manifest. Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and southern region of Georgia might experience the effects of the tsunami according to some sources.”

“After several billion barrels of oil and billions of cubic feet of gas have been released, the massive cavity beneath the ocean floor will begin to normalise, allowing freezing water to be forced naturally into the huge cavity where the oil and gas once were. The temperature in that cavity can be extremely hot at around 150 degrees celsius or more. The incoming water will be vaporised and turned into steam, creating an enormous force, which could actually lift the Gulf floor. According to computer models, a second massive tsunami wave might occur.”

Branch connect: xkcd: Worst-Case Scenario

Germination: National Geographic: Hurricane Could Push Spilled Gulf Oil Into New Orleans

“Just when you think everything’s fine – that’s when it can go wrong.”

I love this for the same reason I loved all the hype around the Large Hadron Collider destroying the world (or the galaxy, or the universe), the same reason I love roller coasters and snowboarding and mountain biking and disaster movies: the tiny possibility that life could suddenly become far less pleasant gives that little shot of mental adrenaline that serves as a reminder to appreciate just how good I’ve got now, as well as the fact that so much of my life is completely beyond my control that I need to grab every chance at happiness that comes before me, for one day the opportunities to do so will be forever lost.

Now, to be fair, let me finish with the same line Warren Ellis did on his post:

“…always remember, this is posted under “research material,” not “independently fact-checked news.” I write fiction, after all.”

Below is the email I received yesterday from the Industry Minister’s office (Ministers Clement and Moore – Minister.industry@ic.gc.ca):

On Wed, Jun 2, 2010 at 2:31 PM, Ministers Clement and Moore wrote:

Thank you for your correspondence regarding copyright policy.

We are pleased to inform you that the Government of Canada has introduced
legislation to modernize the Copyright Act, bringing it up to date with
the advances of the digital age.

This legislation will bring Canada in line with international standards
and promote homegrown innovation and creativity. It is a fair, balanced,
and common-sense approach, respecting both the rights of creators and the
interests of consumers in a modern marketplace. The federal government is
working to secure Canada’s place in the digital economy and to promote a
more prosperous and competitive country.

The popularity of Web 2.0, social media, and new technologies such as MP3
players and digital books have changed the way Canadians create and make
use of copyrighted material. This bill recognizes the many new ways in
which teachers, students, artists, software companies, consumers,
families, copyright owners and many others use technology. It gives
creators and copyright owners the tools to protect their work and grow
their business models. It provides clearer rules that will enable all
Canadians to fully participate in the digital economy, now and in the
future.

For more information, please visit www.balancedcopyright.gc.ca.

Sincerely,

Tony Clement
Minister of Industry

James Moore
Minister of Canadian Heritage
and Official Languages

Here’s my response. I tried to keep it as calm and professional as possible, on the (slight) chance that someone ever actually reads it.

Ministers,

While I appreciate that there has been some consideration for the public consumer’s rights since C-61, unfortunately this proposal still has digital locks overriding all other rights, which make all your supposed “exceptions” moot. As long as that provision remains in place, Canadians still do not have the basic rights and freedoms to use digital media in legal and beneficial ways; ways that you have stated should be core to a “modern” copyright legislation.

Please fix this problem. It makes everything else in the bill meaningless. Simply add the exception that digital locks can be circumvented if done so for legal reasons (research, news reporting, criticism, parody, satire, education, personal format shifting, time shifting, etc.). That one exception would truly be putting the rights of Canadians above the marketing strategies of commercial entities. It is a simple fix, but a significant statement.

The priorities of your administration in regards to this issue have become a major embarrassment, from the results of the Copyright Consultation project right up to recent quotes from the Prime Minister. As more of the general public become aware of the implications of this bill, the controversy and apparent disregard of Canadian’s interests in exchange for satisfying US lobby pressure is going to continue to be a problem for you and your party. I hope sincerely that you will do what is right for Canadians.

/Michael Lawton

Damn you James Moore:

“Reports in the Canadian media confirm what was reported in the blogosphere several weeks ago – out-of-touch Canadian Heritage Minister James Moore has won the internal fight for a Canadian DMCA. The reports say the Canadian government is likely to introduce the bill next week complete with digital lock provisions that mirror those found in the U.S. DMCA. The bill may also include some important new exceptions, but those will be subject to the use of a digital lock. In other words, they are new rights that come with a big caveat in that they can be eliminated anytime by a rights holder.”

From the National Post:

“…the copyright law will likely have the greater impact on average Canadians as they increasingly rely on downloaded entertainment.

All signals suggest Heritage Minister James Moore has triumphed over the objections of Industry Minister Tony Clement, setting up Canada to march in excessively protected lockstep with a United States that boasts the toughest laws against pirated music or movies on the planet.

It may well be a legal constraint that’s impossible to enforce, but the rumble out of the PMO suggests the new law will ignore the extensive public consultations that advocated a go-easy take on copying of CDs and DVDs in favour of robust anti-consumer limits on transferring or sharing content.”

Emphasis mine.

Guess that whole Copyright Consultation project was a complete waste of time.

It’s crap like this that make it really hard for me to decide whether I want to go into politics. The optimist in me says that I should get involved so I can FIGHT this sort of bullshit corrupt sellout of our rights; the pessimist in me says if this is the kind of garbage that goes on in our political system I don’t want anything to do with it.

Created and sent via the Canadian Coalition for Electronic Rights:

May 20 2010

The Honourable Tony Clement
Minister Of Industry, Science & Technology
House of Commons
Ottawa, Ontario
K1A 0A6

The Honourable James Moore
Minister of Canadian Heritage and Official Languages
House of Commons
Ottawa, Ontario
K1A 0A6

The Right Honourable Stephen Harper
House of Commons
Ottawa, Ontario
K1A 0A6

Dear Ministers,

In the summer of 2009 the Government of Canada held public consultations on copyright and Canadians engaged in those consultations at unprecedented levels.  Unfortunately, it now appears that the Government may be poised to ignore the vast majority of Canadian consultation submissions and proceed with anti-consumer copyright reform legislation.  Legislation that would employ strong protection for digital locks, a rejection of flexible fair dealing and support for specific technologies and business models.  Legislation that may indeed be more stifling than the US Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) which, over the course of the last decade, has proven to be a backwards, ill-conceived approach to copyright.

To ignore the input of thousands of Canadian consumers and creators when modernizing Canada’s copyright regime would be irresponsible.  Alternatively, I urge this Government to heed what Canadians have told them and only proceed with legislation to reform copyright that is technologically neutral by not integrating protection for specific technologies or business models (e.g. all-encompassing prohibition of circumvention devices and technologies).  Legislation that expands and protects fair dealing to ensure Canada has the legal framework to adapt to future business models and new forms of creativity we have yet to discover.

Fortunately, there remains time and opportunity for this Government to reassess its approach on copyright reform and ensure that the input provided by Canadians via public consultations process is taken into full consideration.

Sincerely,

Michael Lawton

CC: The Honourable Michael Ignatieff
CC: Marc Garneau – Official Opposition Critic For Industry, Science & Technology
CC: Pablo Rodriguez – Official Critic For Canadian Heritage and Official Languages
CC: Charlie Angus – NDP Digital Affairs Critic
CC:  Rajotte.J@parl.gc.ca

Last night at just after midnight (technically this morning I guess) someone came up to my front door, rang my doorbell 4 or 5 times rapidly, and ran away. By the time I pulled on some track pants and got downstairs there was no sign of him/her/them.

I had just dropped off to sleep after a very long and physically exhausting day. Really looking forward to a peaceful sleep in Sunday morning. Now my adrenaline is pumping and every home invasion horror and vigilante beatdown movie scene is running through my head.

In the light of day this is nothing more than an innocent and silly prank by some kids goofing around on a Saturday night. Laying in bed and staring at the ceiling, at one in the morning… this is justification for great and terrible vengeance. Since my brain gets locked in a feedback loop on whatever it’s last focus was on, I laid there for two hours going through increasingly violent and outlandish scenarios in my mind as I tried desperately to regain my lost slumber.

I am waiting by the door when he rings the bell, jump out and scare him good.

I am waiting by the door when he rings the bell, jump out and catch him, smack him around.

I hear them approach the door, I run down the stairs, throw open the door, catch him and beat the crap out of him.

… and his friends.

The doorbell rings, I come down the stairs as they kick in the door. I surprise them, beat the crap out of them and throw them out.

The doorbell rings, I come down the stairs as they kick in the door. I catch them, beat the crap out of them, take their wallets, tell them I can call their parents or the cops, which one do they want.

They kick in the door, I jump down the stairs onto the first one. I turn and tackle the second, knocking him out and tying them both up for the police.

They kick in the door. I jump over the half-wall between the second landing and the front door. I land behind the first invader, dropping my elbow on his clavicle, breaking my fall and his collarbone. Crouching to absorb the impact of the landing, I turn and leap with full force driving the heel of my palm into the nose of the second invader, then my knee into his solar plexus. I grab the bat out of his hand, twisting his wrist back hard enough to hear tendons snap as I swing it backwards through the jaw of the first thug. A second time I spin back around, following the swing through as I bring the bat down on the top of it’s previous owner’s head. I thrust the bat like a spear to the chest of the third attacker, still in the door frame. He stumbles backwards off the steps, I am following through the air, bat raised in both hands above my head like a woodsman’s axe. Bat meets forehead at the same time as skull meets concrete. Bursts like a rotten jack-o-lantern.

These little fantasy scenes don’t bring me rest; instead each one gives my brain a little micro-burst of adrenaline that keeps me awake and angry. This is exactly why I need to read a good and engrossing book before sleeping. I need to take my mind off of whatever I was thinking about before coming to bed, or I will lay there, unable to sleep, going over and over every detail of the game I was playing, show I was watching, work I was doing, or whatever else was going on. This is also why I am and always have been a very poor choice of person to bother late at night for anything less than a dire emergency.

(As an annoying side note, there is a pack of asshole teenagers that hang out in our neighbourhood. All summer they spend their nights getting drunk in the playground park across the street from our house, where we get to enjoy listening to their mindless blather and stoned howling. And, should they feel particularly energetic, we get to wake up to a street littered with broken planters, scratched and dented cars, trashed gardens, and other evidence of their adventures. Of course, a couple of them have their little souped-up Civics that they love to race up and down our residential streets. Basically, a bunch of ignorant bullshit that I really would love to enact violence upon. And before anyone gives me the “they’re just kids being kids” crap: stupid is stupid, you don’t need to be any age to know that. Even as a teenager, I hated pricks that acted like this.)

(Click the picture to go to the Facebook event page.)

Challenge

Mike Lawton March 15 at 2:36pm

Hey dude, got a proposition for you.

Of all the people for me to challenge with this, you’re pretty much the worst choice I could make, but fuck it. It’s good motivation.

I’ve been looking at this “One Hundred Push Ups” program for a while, even started it once (but wimped out quickly). Now that I’ve got a fairly regular workout routine going, I’m thinking of taking another crack at it.

http://www.hundredpushups.com/

Only thing I need is someone to keep me honest. Now I know you could probably drop and do 100 right now (screw you), but the program does tailor to each person’s fitness level. I was thinking we could make a bet out of it, pick a start date and say 6 weeks from then we have to meet and do 100 push ups; whoever can’t finish has to…. whatever. Buy lunch, post failure on facebook, etc.

Up for it? We could bring in anyone else that felt like playing along too. Maybe plan for the big showdown at Griesbach?

Dave Bargen March 15 at 4:00pm

Cool. Sounds like fun. I’m not at the 100 range yet, but I’d love to get back to it. I’m in.

Mike Lawton March 15 at 4:09pm

I’m going to regret this…

Dave Bargen March 22 at 10:17am

Alright, bro. I am starting this thing today. I’ll make Mon, Wed, Fri my days to do it. I’ll send you a message when I’m finished and I expect to hear from you too saying you’re done yours at some point. Remember, no matter what other exercise we do, we do this first. Bring on the pain.

Mike Lawton March 22 at 10:36am

OK you miserably fit son of a bitch… let’s do this.

I was originally thinking of starting it April 1, as sort of a cruel april fool’s joke on ourselves. But that’s just another excuse to procrastinate.

I did 3 sets of pushups this morning, 10-15-20, just to see how my shoulder was feeling, and I’m happy to say much better than expected! I’m going to do the proper fit test tonight so I have my starting number, then I’ll start the program Wednesday (skipping day 1 so I’m on the same track as you).

We’ve got to find some way of tracking this publicly, so our potential humiliation is all the greater. I’m thinking of starting a Facebook page that we can update with our progress, trash-talk each other, and allow others to enjoy our suffering. I’ll send you the link once it’s ready.

Dave Bargen March 22 at 11:30am

OK, here’s the deal. I need you to go away for a while.

From here. From the BLOG.

I need you to stop reading. Stop following. Unsubscribe. Delete feed. Forget.

It’s not you. It’s me.

I’ve hit a wall. I just can’t seem to complete an idea. Barely a sentence. I share links and comments and thoughts and updates on Facebook and Twitter, but the immediacy and brevity of those mediums discourages deeper discussion-inspection-reflection.

That last sentence is 176 characters. I couldn’t even fit it in a tweet.

I like using big words and run-on sentences. I like to ramble, pontificate, blather, spew, and let my consciousness flow.

But lately I’m not. Not enough. With the words.

I’ve got lots of ideas. Dozens of “drafts” waving their dicks at me whenever I log into my Wordpress dashboard. But I just can’t seem to pull the trigger. Can’t finish them. I read these half-formed blobs of fetal composition and can recognize the tiny ember of inspiration that made me want to expand or explore or just throw into the sky to see what happened… but that’s it. I can’t wind my brain up to continue.

And that’s where you come in.

I need this to be a blank slate again. I need to clear the expectations I’ve built up in my own head about what I should be posting. Who I’m posting for.

Like I said: It’s not you. It’s me. This is in my own head.

I don’t know if this will help, but I think it will.

I’m going to try and pretend that no body reads this thing. Not a big stretch, I know, but stay with me (or don’t… you know what I mean). This site isn’t for marketing my business, or showing off my photography, or giving soapbox speeches about the latest political travesty. I’ve used it for all these things in the past, but it never felt right. I don’t know what I have this thing for. But I do know that I enjoyed writing on here the most when I was writing purely for myself. Not worried about who was reading it or what anyone else thought, just using it as a bucket to catch the mental overflow; an open field for me to bury my kill.

So that’s it. No apologies for not posting. No explanations. No whining. No promises of future content. Just whatever the heck comes out of my head. Intentionally indecipherable. This isn’t a school project. This is MY ISLAND. My piece of Internet. To do with as I will.

/M

PS – I’m still out there. If you want to know what I’m up to: Twitter. Or, if we’ve actually met at some point: Facebook. If you want to know to what I’m listening: Last.fm. What I’m reading online: Delicious. If you want to see pictures from my adventures: Flickr. Work: The Financial Benefits Group. I’ve got a LinkedIn page too, but haven’t really got around to using it much. Aren’t I just the little social-media butterfly?

I’m messing with the site design over the weekend, so if you somehow stumble across here and things look odd or incomplete… well, they probably always have and shall continue to be, so get used to it schweetheart.

/M

One of my favourite things about my Last.fm subscription is it’s tracking of my listening history. It’s one thing to try and arbitrarily choose today what my top songs of 2009 were, but to actually look at what tracks I played the most over the year offers a more interesting (to me anyway) view.

So here’s the list of my top 25 songs of 2009, in order of the number of times I played the full track on my computer, iPod, or iPhone:

1. Joel Plaskett Emergency – Nowhere With You
2. Flogging Molly – What’s Left of the Flag
3. Hi-Standard – Wait for the Sun
4. Portal – Still Alive
5. Leonard Cohen – Waiting For The Miracle
6. Enter the Haggis – One Last Drink
7. Great Big Sea – The Night Pat Murphy Died
8. Jonathan Coulton – Mr. Fancy Pants
9. The Salads – Get Loose
10. Styrofoam and Sarah Shannon – I Found Love
11. Jonathan Coulton – The Future Soon
12. Finnegan’s Lads – Dirty Old Town
13. Da Vinci’s Notebook – The Gates
14. Semisonic – Closing Time
15. Jonathan Coulton – Code Monkey
16. Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie – The System Administrator Song
17. Dean Elliott & His Big Band – Lonesome Road
18. Corb Lund Band – The Truck Got Stuck
19. The Tossers – Altercations
20. John Coltrane – Giant Steps
21. Dropkick Murphys – The Dirty Glass
22. Patti Smith – Gloria
23. Tenacious D – The Metal
24. Rancid – Roots Radicals
25. Flogging Molly – Rebels of the Sacred Heart

Of course, the math geek in me just screams at the idea of using raw play count data that doesn’t take into account when any of these songs actually became available to me. For example, I bought Enter the Haggis in November, and they made it to #6. I bought Jonathan Coulton’s album in March, and he appears three times (four if you count “Still Alive”). And yet, bands like Flogging Molly and Corb Lund, oft-stated “favourite” bands of mine of which I own many albums, only appear once or twice. Some of these tracks I don’t own at all, but have appeared often enough as “recommendations” on my last.fm station that they make the list!

Hmm… I wonder how hard it would be to build an algorithm that could level out the initial enthusiastic repetition of a new album or song, consider the time of year it was added to the overall library, and assign an appropriate weighting as compared to those that have been in rotation for more than 12 (24? more?) months. I wonder how clear the pattern would be if I could go back and track plays of a new song from purchase, peak, trough, to plateau. What kind of timeline does there need to be for a song to stabilize into regular rotation, or just be forgotten until it gets picked up by a random shuffle and brought back into play? How much of an effect does placing the song into a playlist have versus leaving it in the overall library?

How much time can I waste discussing pattern analysis of my music listening habits before I get back to work?

That one I think I can answer.

For the record, my personal feelings on 2009 in general:

…………………./´¯/)
………………..,/¯../
………………./…./
…………./´¯/’…’/´¯¯`·¸
………./’/…/…./……./¨¯\
……..(’(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’)
………\……………..’…../
……….”…\………. _.·´
…………\…………..(
…………..\………….\…